Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Knitting and Otis

I've been feeling rather depressed lately about the financial situation and the bleak reality of life as a "grown up."
Yesterday I subbed for a kindergarten class and I had fun playing with blocks, coloring and had peaches for a snack... Things which one (who is not a kindergartner or a kindergarten teacher) doesn't do very often. And it made me think of a time when I wasn't worried about the things that I worry about, or feel guilty about the things I feel guilty about.
I know that I really don't have to feel guilty about much and that I am doing all I can to make life comfortable, but things have begun to weigh on me in a way I have never allowed them to before and I am forced to think about the ways to remain young at heart when so many things are pulling at me. So I try to distract myself with more enjoyable things.
My sister taught me to knit, so today I sat on the couch and experimented with a knit two, pearl two ribbed cowl (since it will be cold until April) and listened to Otis Redding's painfully beautiful voice fill my living room with a warmth that only vinyl can. And as I sit here writing this for the world to read, knowing that, more than likely, only my husband will; I remember even if we lost everything, I never want to lose the love or the child I have inside.

1 comment:

  1. I love you with all my shattered , blackened heart.

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